I feel like we have fallen from the sky and crashed into the cold hard ground. We are still in shock. I have so many feelings about why it may not have worked. We will meet with the RE on Oct. 15th and discuss what happened and set up the FET.
I feel like I don't know what to do with myself. I am trying to keep busy, but I get seizures of sadness. I just wanted to let you to know that we are still hanging in there and to THANK you for the support via the blog and my e-mail address.
In order to move forward I have decided to try and make a list of things I am grateful for.
WW, the most supportive and loving partner I could ever want. She is my dream come true.
My children, who love me no matter what. Honestly, they are like mini-WWs in their awesome-ness.
My parents, who think I am crazy but keep supporting me and believing in my dreams.
The chance to try, some people never get this far.
No blighted ovum. No m/c. No d&c. No missing heartbeat. It breaks my heart that so many have gone through this kind of pain.
I am grateful for the one who waits. The one frozen embryo.
We live in a nice neighborhood that I love.
We live in a nice house that I love.
I drive a nice car that I love.
We have the best cat in the world, sorry, but it's true.
Our new fish have lived for over 6 months.
There are no blizzards, hurricanes, tornados, or earthquakes here.
We are all healthy.
I am grateful for you.
10 comments:
Good god, woman. You have me nearly in tears. And I'm not a cry-er.
The shock and pain will ease. You know this. This too shall pass and all that crap. For the time being, put away the injectibles and pills so you don't have constant reminders of this all ending so abruptly. Take these next two weeks to heal and be peaceful and love your WW and sweet girls.
And then walk in to your RE's and get some freaking answers. Whatever you choose to do next, it must work. It will work.
My love to you.
I am so very, very sorry. I missed the details of your journey due to my mom's illness and passing. Hugs to you.
Dear Daisy. I love you. And WW too. I don't care if that sounds crazy. I just love you both and I wish I could offer more support than just a comment. I am so sorry.
So sorry for your sadness. hoping your baby finds you sooner rather than later.
I'm so sorry. I don't really know what to say. You'll get through this. You're in my thoughts.
xxx
i'm so sorry daisy -- you and ww are very much in my thoughts. sending you lots of supporty throught the internet waves and in the air in general.
your list of things to be grateful for is wonderful. actually your other lists are wonderful too.
my heart goes out to you.
I am very, very sorry. I just can't believe it. It is good that you can count your blessings even now.
So, so sorry!
If you ever want to talk about donor embryos drop me a line. kneedlemanrph@yahoo.com
I firmly believe that was the only thing that would ever work for us. And now I'm 7 weeks away from the ultimate results.
I wish I knew what to day - except I know how you feel and what you are going through. And no list of the wonderful things you have will outweigh the pain you feel - it is legitimate and natural. I hope, though, that you find solace in the wonderful things you have, and that they can carry you until you move ahead in this journey. Please keep the faith. You will get there. I will pray that your baby finds you soon.
BFN's are so tough. I am so sorry that you are going through this.
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