4dp3dt

I don't know whether to be sad or happy. Only 1 of the 10 embryos made it to blast. I'm glad they froze it. The others were growing but were missing some important blast components, etc. I feel lucky that we have the one. Of course when I found out yesterday, I did not feel luck, I felt awful. The daily roller coaster rolls on.

 

The last two days I have been getting mad really easily. I have been mad a WW quite a bit. Last night she said, "Why are you so mad at me? Have I done something to offend you?" I couldn't answer. It has to be the hormones. So I have been spending a lot of time apologizing. I even apologized this morning before I left for work...ya know, for what I am sure I will do later today.

 

Of course I am mentally searching for any signs of life growing. I go back and forth between feeling like I'm an incubator or about to start AF. This goes on about every 5 minutes. It's draining. Last night I just came home and cried because I am exhausted from the emotional toil. I told WW I was suffering. I wish I could turn it off.

 

This morning, I didn't feel quite right for about an hour...felt hungry even though I ate, felt thirsty even though I was drinking constantly...and that made me very happy. Just the thought that it could be a positive sign. So for now (the next 5 minutes) I feel hopeful, so I thought I would sneak in a post.

 

BTW, thank you for posting comments. I am living for them right now. Roni, when I read your comment about my lining being great at 10.5, I almost cried from relief. So, thank you all.