I don't know whether to be sad or happy. Only 1 of the 10 embryos made it to blast. I'm glad they froze it. The others were growing but were missing some important blast components, etc. I feel lucky that we have the one. Of course when I found out yesterday, I did not feel luck, I felt awful. The daily roller coaster rolls on.
The last two days I have been getting mad really easily. I have been mad a WW quite a bit. Last night she said, "Why are you so mad at me? Have I done something to offend you?" I couldn't answer. It has to be the hormones. So I have been spending a lot of time apologizing. I even apologized this morning before I left for work...ya know, for what I am sure I will do later today.
Of course I am mentally searching for any signs of life growing. I go back and forth between feeling like I'm an incubator or about to start AF. This goes on about every 5 minutes. It's draining. Last night I just came home and cried because I am exhausted from the emotional toil. I told WW I was suffering. I wish I could turn it off.
This morning, I didn't feel quite right for about an hour...felt hungry even though I ate, felt thirsty even though I was drinking constantly...and that made me very happy. Just the thought that it could be a positive sign. So for now (the next 5 minutes) I feel hopeful, so I thought I would sneak in a post.
BTW, thank you for posting comments. I am living for them right now. Roni, when I read your comment about my lining being great at 10.5, I almost cried from relief. So, thank you all.
3 comments:
when i was preggers with my daughter one of the first symptoms that happened was my severe pissed-offness at my partner- for absolutely no reason!
hoping this means a belly full of baby for you!
I'm sorry you didn't have more make it to blast. I can imagine it would be disappointing. And yet, you won't need any if this works, right? Lots of luck to you. May you have the best embryos already growing inside of you.
I agree with Kami - we're thinking positive, that this will work, and that wonderful blast can just stay on ice. Remember my story. Only 2 frozen, 2 transferred, and those 2 frozen are still sitting in their little comfy freezer.
You are on a serious emotional roller coaster, not to mention the hormones, not to mention that we're hoping your pregnant, which means more hormones. Your behavior is justifiable and even normal given the circumstances, although it sucks to be in that skin when it's happening (or on the receiving end). Hang in. And I'm glad, truly, that I could offer some relief. It really was a great lining for 1 1/2 weeks before!
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