This is a hard post for me. Yesterday I saw my Perinatologist for the first time. I was so excited and happy all day. I couldn't wait to see the twins! When it came to the scan we saw one beautiful baby, measuring 12w4d. He/she was clearly asleep, so we woke her/him up! Then there was a lot of wriggling twisting. The NT test was done and all looked excellent. All within normal range. Heart beat was 160 BPM. We were so happy.
When the U/S tech tried to find the other baby, we could see that there was a sac that was essentially empty. There was a small amount of fetal tissue, but the baby had died. According to the Peri, it probably happened about two weeks ago. At 10 weeks I noticed a change in my symptom intensity and maybe it is a coincidence. I don't know.
Even though I knew that this was a possibility I was still so surprised because the 8 week scan was so great for both of them. WW was completely in shock. She is extremely upset. She had completely embraced the idea and joy of twins. We are so sad today. We have only told a few people about the twins, but it will be very hard to tell them there is only one growing.
I am going through all of the mental and emotional fallout. There is fear. Fear that something will go wrong with this baby as well. I know we still have a baby growing but yesterday, I didn't feel pregnant anymore. Then at dinner, it struck me...I'm still pregnant. I just don't know how to be pregnant with one baby. I will adjust. We will recover emotionally. It will take time. We are very, very sad.
The other smaller news by comparison is that the bleed/clot was not clearly visualized. I have not had bleeding since the day before Thanksgiving. The did find a tiny fibroid.The have no concerns about either of these.
15 comments:
I'm so sorry for the loss of your twin. You loved that baby, and you always will.
The same thing happened to me. our surviving twin is now 3 1/2. He is the light of my life, but now and then I think about his twin and wonder how different our lives would be had he/she lived.
How bittersweet the appointment must have been.
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of one of the twins, but happy to hear that the other twin is doing so well.
I am sorry to hear the news. I know that it must be hard for you all.
I'm so sorry to read of your loss. My heart aches for you and your family. I pray for an uneventful remainder of your pregnancy and that your little one under your heart continues to thrive.
I lost a twin in my pregnancy as well, somewhere around five weeks, but I had no idea that there was a second one until the doctor showed me a picture of the empty sac.
I am so sorry for your loss, and at the same time, I am very happy that your other baby is doing well. Hugs.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your other twin continues to do well.
I'm sorry. I hope thoughtless people don't minimize it. Losing one when you have two is still: losing a baby.
Oh Daisy, I'm so sorry. However I'm glad the other twin is doing well.
I too had this experience with my first. I am sorry for your loss.
OHHHH :( I"m so sorry. Hugs and positive energy/thoughts to you.
I'm so sorry. you're right - it will be an adjustment.
I understand your fear. I hope that it is a comfort to know that, being past the 12 week mark, the baby is in much safer territory from a "what can go wrong" standpoint".
I'm sorry for your loss, and at the same time so happy to hear your other twin is doing so wonderfully.
Well that is sad. I am sorry for your loss and hope all is well with the other twin. Thinking of you.
Oh Daisy,
I am overjoyed that you are pregnant with a healthy little one but understand the sorrow you must be feeling about the one that you have lost. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry Daisy. It must be a strange place to be mourning the loss of one child while trying to rejoice the life of another.
I'm sorry.
xxx
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