Today was a hard day. I lay around and tried to distract myself with TV, reading, etc. I tried not to think about why on earth my body is trying to expel two thriving fetuses. I tried to convince myself that there must have just been a single clot that broke up and dispelled before they did the ultrasound, because none were found. But the bleeding continues and there is still some tiny clots as well. At one point today it slowed down to spotting for a couple of hours and I was starting to feel relieved. The discharge was also rust colored. But within a few hours it was back to red and a steady flow. I know that if my lining sheds it is over. They have already told me there is nothing we can do but wait.
In the mean time tomorrow I will be 6 weeks along. I am having more pregnancy symptoms like nausea and I have a terrible varicose vein in my right leg. I feel like I am being assaulted on all fronts!
I am trying to keep a positive attitude but the fear is paralyzing. I am very lucky that I have been approved to work from home tomorrow. I have to go in on Wednesday, but Thursday and Friday I can probably skate by.
Thursday, I will have another ultrasound.
Thank you for all your comments. I know that I am not alone. I know that I am not the only woman to go through this. I try to concentrate on all the hope and strength that everyone is sending me.
8 comments:
I am hoping with you - hang in there.
Sending you all I have, Daisy.
And if you need to stay home for additional days, ask your dr to write you out. Working from home is a good compromise, and your employer can't possibly give you a problem for working from home while you are going through this.
It's been a while since I've practiced law, but there is a federal Act which protects pregnant women. As long as you are able to perform your job function you should not in any way be penalized. And if you can't, then that's what FMLA or disability leave is for, although I don't think you need to worry about that at this point.
Hi there... I am creeping back to blogland and creeping back to reading even slower..
I just caught up on you and I want you to know that I am hoping right along with you and I really want everything to work out for you.
Hugs....
Tracey
You are definitely not alone - I am hoping with you too.
Still thinking about you.
Hang in there as best you can. Do whatever you need to do to get through this.
I will keep hoping that this will turn out ok for you.
I thought about you a lot today. I've had 8 miscarriages so this is what I have been told: you don't start bleeding/shedding your lining/miscarrying until your HCG reaches 0.
Because your levels are still climbing and not high, I really, really believe that you are just having bad DE/IVF implantation bleeding.
I really think everything is going to be ok. I am really pulling for you.
I'm thinking of you today.
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