This is the end of a long and emotional journey. We have exhausted all of the options we believed could be possible to find a way to accept an offer of donated embryos from our neighbors (who were successful with an egg donor cycle, twice).
First we struggled with the idea of being in such close proximity with them. We realized that we would never be and "extended family" with them, but we respect and admire them so much. Mrs. Neighbor could feel my longing to bear a child so deeply that she was moved to help and were were all willing to work through obstacles of proximity and being virtual strangers (in the beginning) to accomplish that. After soul searching and many in depth discussion we believed this could work only to find that the clinic they used did not do proper testing that would allow our neighbors to donate any remaining embryos they did not use. We spent the last several weeks looking for any way around this, even going outside the U.S., but there are different laws applied in other countries that made it impossible to go forward with these embryos. We talked to lawyers and lawmakers. There are a small number of organization that are formally challenging these regulations for these and other reasons, but no change has resulted from it. I believe there is nothing else we can do. It is a sad situation for us and them.
For my own sanity and preservation I have to move on. I can't keep beating my head against a wall feeling the rage and injustice of a backwards FDA regulation. It's not good for me. I feel like I gave it everything I had, we all did, but it's over now. We all discussed it over the weekend and agreed to stop pursuing it.
Where does that leave me? Somewhere out there is a kind-hearted and generous woman who has been following this story. I think she can help me, and I think I can help her. At least, I hope that is still the case.
If you know anyone who is struggling with issues regarding this FDA regulation and needs answers or clarification on U.S., Canadian, or Mexican laws please feel free to direct them to my blog. I have inadvertently become sort of an expert and if I could help anyone get answers...I would be happy to do it.
7 comments:
I am so sorry that this didn't work out for you. I wonder if W realizes this unintended effect. I don't like him, I know that he's a lame duck, and I know that legislating is for Congress, not the President, but this was an issue that was ostensibly important to him. I would imagine that he would be appalled at the unintended result.
My heart aches for the little ones who can never be born as a result of this. How unfair.
I hope that another path will reveal itself to you soon.
I am sorry. It just doesnt make any sense is plain old dumb and infair for you and the little ones that never have a chance now.
I pray that another option falls into your lap.
I feel so gutted for you, I am so sorry.
I don't even know what to say. My heart is with you.
I"m so sorry. I send you lots of positive energy!
I am so sorry. It is hard to believe that your efforts and those of your neighbors have not ended in the pregnancy you envisioned. Have you thought about finding someone less reputable to do the transfer? I am only 1/2 kidding.
I hope you will find some embryos. I will keep an eye out for you (and will be asking my friends at the appropriate time)
I'm sorry.
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