Feelin' Groovy

I am happy to report that I feel a renewed sense of hope and happiness. Darn that feels good. Most of the reason for this is described in my last post. But last night something cool happened. I saw a tinge, a pink tinge. Could this be CD 1 trying to make an appearance. Yes, I think it is! Today more tingeing!

 

Why on earth does this make me so happy you ask? For one thing, I have learned that I count on my body to do certain things. I don't want the additional worry of a jacked up cycle on top of everything. I also learned that my body/emotions work well on a cycle. There is so much more to it that just AF. I read a book a long time ago by Christaine Northrup called Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. This was before she was well known. I was much younger and really didn't spend a lot of time thinking about my body...mostly I was thinking about other people's bodies...anyway, I remember little detail from the book. The one strong impression I was left with is that it is beneficial to get into the flow of our cycle than fight it. If I remember correctly she even states that the menses part of the cycle works mentally and emotionally well with reflective thinking and quiet activity. I don't endorse these specifics, but the book did help me to listen to, accept, and act accordingly to my own cycle.

 

At the time this was a revolutionary change for me since I was still in the haze of strong feminist backlash rhetoric that denied the existence of PMS, denied emotional and physical reaction to menses cycles, and was pushing the idea of androgyny. I call it backlash rhetoric because this it was such a reactionary position to the overwhelming societal acceptance that PMS makes women the unpredictable, hysterical, sub-class that they are. So I was still in the "we are just like men...but different" years. I evolved. We aren't just like men, and we deserve the same rights, all of them. Wow, that was quite a departure from the post I intended to write. I hear that is going around.

 

Hope, hopeful, happy...yes. Another reason for my re-newed hope is that we may have an alternative to going forward with the neighbor's embryos. MAY have. I don't know yet. I am on the edge of my seat waiting to hear if there is any light at the end of this tunnel. The one thing I have learned is that you never know what might happen. You just don't know. I am constantly shocked at how generous and loving people are, even virtual strangers.

 

Sometimes I play this game with myself. I ask myself what would I have done if 5, 10, or 15 years ago someone would have whispered into my ear that THIS (the THIS changes from topic to topic) would be happening in my life right now. How would I have reacted? What would I have thought? Would I have done something to prevent it or enhance it? I think I do this because I am constantly amazed at my life. I lead no ordinary life, and I am so grateful for that.

 

I promise more blogging. Blogging is good for me.