The beta days are always the hardest for me. I have kept a cool head so far not too much mental spinning...until about 4 am this morning. Then it really started to hit me. I can't trust any of my feelings/twinges/odd body stuff because I had these each time with every failed attempt...and it's too early. So I'm guessing it's just normal post IVF feelings. I really want this to work, maybe more than all the other attempts, even with my own eggs. We spent so much time picking out these donors and getting to this point.
I keep visualizing Saturday when the clinic calls. Who will take the call this time...probably me. The clinic will call by 3 pm. We have plans to fill 10 donation boxes that day, so the morning should go quickly. Sunday morning I have two meetings for two organizations where I am a key volunteer. So I will be very distracted on Sunday morning.
I don't expect a positive. For me it would be like getting a winning lottery ticket. Neither feel likely. I'm still hopeful, but I wont be shocked this time if it is negative. Sad, but not shocked.
For my fellow DE IVFers who have recently gotten a BFN...I feel your pain, deeply. I'm thinking about you.
2 comments:
What are donation boxes?
You will have all my love and energy this weekend.
So I read your shopping at my house post yesterday, and last night I had a dream that I met you and you were very pregnant. You were so happy. Then you showed me your car sitting up on the wooden block and you couldn't stop laughing. It was such a great dream.
Just found your blog and wanted to wish you tons of luck on your Beta on Sat!
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