Merry Christmas?

The next few days went by a little faster because Christmas was 3 days away. I held down the fort while everyone did their last minute shopping. I tried to stay positive. The only people in our lives that knew about the IVF were my parents and our two girls. The were all so very optimistic, except my mother who is also a very practical woman. Having suffered 4 miscarriages before carrying a child full term she was cautiously optimistic. She never celebrates a pregnancy with abandon, that was taken from her with each miscarriage.

Christmas was a great distraction from the IVF. It was wonderful to have my parents there. They came specifically because of the IVF. Even though I knew that the chances were impossible, at night, I would say to Wonderwoman, "I just want to make it through the whole process. I want to make it to the Beta. I don't want a surprise red streak. I want them to tell me it's negative so I can prepare emotionally for my period to start." Looking back, I don't think I knew why I wanted that, exactly. But now I realize that I just needed one thing to go as planned, one thing to be completed the way I had mentally prepared. I didn't want the rug pulled out from under me again.