Totally Tubular and the U-tube

The beginning continues.

After weighing all the options (meaning time and expense), I felt compelled to pursue IVF without surgery. Yes, there would continue to be mysteries about my plumbing that we would never know, but I believed in my heart that our best chance for a baby was putting some healthy embryos right where they could grow. As stressed as this made Wonderwoman feel, she said that IVF was the most reasonable option for us (since we were already in the world of totally extreme).

We talked it over with Dr. Mellow and he was in full support of us pursuing IVF after I had many more tests and several gallons of blood were taken. The first very important exam was the hysteroscope. This test is pass, fail, or surgery. For me this was the most important exam since failing the HSG.

The Hysteroscope

I really wanted the earliest possible date to get this done. I just felt such urgency to on with it. Taking the first available appointment meant that I would not have Dr. Mellow and Wonderwoman would not be able to be with me. I had such anxiety. I felt there was so much riding on a passing grade. Before I left I visited blog-land and read stories from brave and daring women who had gone through all this before me and had survived no matter the outcome. It helped me enormously to know that I was not alone in that sense.

When I came in I met the MD and before I undressed for the exam they gave me a Valium to relax me. I can't say enough about how lovely that Valium was. Such a yummy feeling came over me but my mind was still racing about the "what ifs" even though my body couldn't care less. Unfortunately the exam was stalled by the fact that my cervix was closed for business. He had to dilate me. He had to use some kind of grabber that I imagined to have several fish hooks attached to it. I felt like he was going to pull my uterus right out and examine it on the table. But finally, finally, finally, the scope went in and I saw the most beautiful, pink and crimson world on the screen next to me. I was enchanted with how peaceful and inviting it looked. Plus, I was stoned, that helped.

He started naming structures...the fundus, etc. and after that he said, "Everything looks perfect." No one had ever said anything like that to me anytime in this process. It was perfect! I passed! I was so happy I cried while I was putting on my clothes. I was thrilled. I didn't even have a shred of disbelief or scepticism. I was exhilarated and relieved.