It has been too long since I have blogged. For those of you who asked (and thank you) I am doing well. At our 12 week ultrasound we saw that only one of the twins had survived. We spend the last month adjusting to that reality. It was especially hard for me because I wanted twins so badly. I am now a little over 16 weeks.
Two things that saved me from certain insanity were one, we rented a Doppler. We were able to hear the baby at 13 weeks. I was thrilled. We use it nearly everyday for just a couple of minutes. The piece of mind it has brought me! It is worth its weight in gold, but luckily it's only $30 per month courtesy of B.aby B.eats.
It also helped that we had a 16 week appointment. We were able to see the baby very clearly squirming and twisting around. All of a sudden the tech switched to 4D and we were able to see a little head and face with two little arms and hands up by the head. I had no idea how wonderful that would be. The tech asked us if we wanted her to try and identify the sex of the baby. We both eagerly said YES! She was able to say with certainty that this little baby is a BOY! I was so sure HE was a girl but we have grown quite fond of the idea of having a son.
I finally feel like this is all real. I have relaxed quite a bit in the last 4 weeks and settled into the idea that it might just work out! That is a really different place for me. We started telling some people, just a few, and WW has been loving every minute of spreading the word. She is so excited. I cannot believe that she was once so ambivalent and uncertain. When I get home from work she tells me how many people she told that day and what they said. Damn it's cute.
Today I am off work because I took the 3 hour gluco.se toll.erance test. I took the 1 hour at week 14 because my family has a strong history of diabetes. It came back at 163 and they like to see 130. Bummer. I can only hope I pass the three hour. I had such a knee jerk reaction to failing the first one I cut drastically back on carbs. Apparently that is the WRONG thing to do. From what I have read it makes your insulin production "relax" so when it IS hit with a large amount of carbs it appears to be very inefficient. Honestly, the things I do to myself. I am hopeful that I will pass. I am not going to worry about it at this point.
I still have some rather big milestones to cross in the next few weeks. I have not told my boss nor anyone at work. I have essentially be hiding the belly. It's not super large but it is starting to poke out now and I am looking into getting some more comfortable maternity wear in the next two weeks. It's horrible to be stuffed into a corporate suit with no wiggle room. The growth is all in the front, since I am still 2 pounds down from my pre-pregnancy weight. Losing that 12 pounds bought me some extra time with my clothes, but that time is approaching an end. I will be happy when my boss knows. He works on the East coast and I am on the West coast so unless I tell him, he won't see it happening.
Lately I feel like a big weight is off my shoulders. I am happy to be where I am. I am looking forward to meeting our little boy when the time is right. I feel like this is my last big life long dream come true.
12 comments:
I am so glad that things are going well for you, but I'm sorry that you lost your other baby. It happened to me too, but it was very early, before I even knew that it was a possibility.
A boy! Congratulations!
I'm glad to see things are going well and that WW has gotten excited about everything. :) Good luck with the 3hr test. Happy New Year!
my gosh, what great news! I am so sorry that one of the twins isn't here. I completely know what you mean about adjusting to the idea of having twins and then having to readjust that - our next FET will only be 1 embryo...so excited to have a new chance, but still, letting go of the idea of 2 was hard. Still hard. My gosh, you have a little baby boy inside of you. That is cool.
You sound wonderful. Enjoy the milestones and take others as slowly as you want (telling the boss, etc).
Congrats on the baby boy! That is so sweet about WW too. It put a smile on my face.
I doubt this helps . . . but I am so glad we didn't have twins. I wish I was done (I want LB to have a sibling) but I already feel that she doesn't get enough attention from me. I suppose I would have felt the same if I had twins and lost one though. You get used to an idea and you embrace it. Then find you have to change your views and that is so tough.
I am so thrilled to hear everything is going well for you, Daisy! I remain so sorry about your twin, and understand you are still adjusting to that. But I am rejoicing that things are NORMAL.
And congrats - boys are AWESOME, let me tell you!! Although I just may be a bit biased...
And hopefully you will pass the 3 hr but don't freak if you don't. I had GD and it is very manageable - one more thing to deal with, but totally doable. I can coach you through it if you need to - hopefully you won't but if you do I would be happy to give you my email/phone # and I can talk with you about the diet and process. And frankly it was GD that made me come out of the pregnancy looking better than when I went in (of course I blew that window within months of Eddie's birth).
re: work clothes, there are lots of comfortable maternity suit/business wear places. Start on the web - that will help you.
THRILLED to hear you are doing well, my friend.
so good to hear you are well and that you can relax into the new life you are creating for yourself.
I am so happy for you!!!!
This was around the point where I too starting relaxing and believing that things were really going to be alright.
Enjoy every moment!
Just thinking of you...
Sorry about the loss of the twin, but very happy that your son is well ....
Daisy, come back. How are you?
Jan
Hi, Daisy. Please come back and let us know how you and the little man are doing. Take care.
come back come back come back. This is worrisome.
Jan
I love your blog! I'm glad to know your procedure was successful! Your son is wonderful boy! I wish you and your family all the best! My dh and I were ttc for a very long time. I've got pregnant in 2009 and we thought that finally our prayers were heard. Unfortunately my pregnancy ended with a miscarriage. We've lost our son and it was shocking for whole our family. I couldn’t get back to life for a long time. I’m glad I have my dh. He gave me support I needed the most. We wanted to have kids so much, it was our only dream. Living childless life wasn't a variant for us. We were thinking about adoption at first. But we wanted our child to be genetically related to our family. Still I had some doubts. My dh looked at this procedure positively. It would be his child anyway. I thought I would be just some woman, who will carry a baby. I have a fear, that everyone will notice it's not mine. I thought it will be obvious and people will talk about it... Also I watched a tv show about de ivf. Some children started to look for women, who shared eggs with these kids' mothers. That was so sad. Those mothers didn't deserve such attitude. They made everything possible their children to have all they need and even more. And here is gratitude. But as this procedure was our only solution of our problem, I made a decision to do it. I should say de ivf is a very good option. I had this procedure in 2014. I've got pregnant from first attempt. We were on seventh heaven! Our girls were born in May 2015. We've just celebrated their first birthday. We used Ukrainian clinic BioTexCom. We are happy parents now! I have no regrets. As soon as I knew I'm pregnant all doubts were wiped out. We decided not to tell our daughters we used donor eggs. I think children' mind is not ready for such info. This fact will change nothing for them. The most important is to give them love and care. I consider myself as their only mother. This is everything they need to know.
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