My last appointment with the Fertility Treatment Center was on Monday. I did have an ultrasound that showed the two sea creatures who are doing what they are supposed to do. They are growing on target at almost identical rates and have nearly identical heart rates (167 and 168 bpm). He found the fluid/clot as well and it is measuring the same size as last week, roughly. It's hard to tell exactly how big because it is not encapsulated with walls or membranes, it's more diffuse.
He told me I could drop the extra shot of prog*esterone in the evenings and that I need extra folic acid to help out both babies. 1 mg per day. He also said that I could stop the meds at 10 weeks...although another RE told me that it would be at 12 weeks, so I have to double check. That was my last appointment. Now I have to arrange an appointment with a high risk Maternal & Fetal specialist. I already know who I want but I have to be screened by their clinic before I can be accepted.
I was really hoping the fluid/clot area would be smaller since I know that it is coming out, one wipe at a time. I guess that is such a minuscule amount that it probably had no impact.
So what I am left with today is just acceptance. This is the way it is. There is still a risk, smaller, but still there. There is still a clot and I don't know how that will be resolved. I will continue to wear liners and still see icky brown blood when I wipe, and there are two little darlings growing in there quite well at this point. That is just the reality of the situation and that is what I need to accept. It's not the fairly tale I was hoping for...silly me but it's not all bad. Could be much worse! That's what this week is about acceptance.
Poor WW told me last night that she feels totally overwhelmed. The idea of twins really has her head spinning. We both agreed that luckily, they are not coming for several months, so we have time to get our bearings and prepare as much as we can! I'm overwhelmed myself!
I have having another strange experience...I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want to tell our parents, our friends, etc. I don't want anyone to know right now. It is awfully early, but that's not really it. I think that I have not yet grasped it and until I do, I don't have the emotional capacity to deal with letting others know. Most people didn't even know we had been trying, so there is that part to deal with as well. We decided that we will just see how we feel about letting the cat of the bag one week at at time.
10 comments:
Congratulations on your graduation!
Congrats to you on the "graduation". You don't have to tell anyone until you are ready. :)
Totally agree with R - this is one of those things you can't take back once it's out - you don't have to do a darn thing until you and WW are in a place where you feel like sharing the news. It is your news to share.
And FYI, I am also dealing with that mix of feeling overwhelmed and overwhelmed with joy. The good thing is, I never knew how many people I knew that were parents of twins (most much older) until we fessed up our news.
It DOES spread like wildfire, though. Wait until you're ready.
xoxo
This is great news - congratulations! I think it is hard to make the transition from not telling to telling, but I hope you will be rewarded by discovering how happy people are for you.
There's no reason to tell if you're not ready.
Great news on the graduation and on the ultrasound, too!
I am so relieved for you, Daisy!!
And I'm agreeing with the rest - your decisions should only be yours, and in your own time.
CONGRATS on Graduation!! I continue to keep you and the babies in my thoughts willing them to grow and grow!
I say keep it a secret and when you feel like sharing .. do so.. :-)
Great news!
I understand the not wanting to tell people feeling. I went through that too, and it surprised me. I think it had to do a lot with me not quite believing it was real after trying so hard for so long.
to echo mm: congratulations on your graduation.
enjoy the not telling. it's nice to just keep it to yourselves till you want to shout it out.
I love your blog! I'm glad to know your procedure was successful! Your son is wonderful boy! I wish you and your family all the best! My dh and I were ttc for a very long time. I've got pregnant in 2009 and we thought that finally our prayers were heard. Unfortunately my pregnancy ended with a miscarriage. We've lost our son and it was shocking for whole our family. I couldn’t get back to life for a long time. I’m glad I have my dh. He gave me support I needed the most. We wanted to have kids so much, it was our only dream. Living childless life wasn't a variant for us. We were thinking about adoption at first. But we wanted our child to be genetically related to our family. Still I had some doubts. My dh looked at this procedure positively. It would be his child anyway. I thought I would be just some woman, who will carry a baby. I have a fear, that everyone will notice it's not mine. I thought it will be obvious and people will talk about it... Also I watched a tv show about de ivf. Some children started to look for women, who shared eggs with these kids' mothers. That was so sad. Those mothers didn't deserve such attitude. They made everything possible their children to have all they need and even more. And here is gratitude. But as this procedure was our only solution of our problem, I made a decision to do it. I should say de ivf is a very good option. I had this procedure in 2014. I've got pregnant from first attempt. We were on seventh heaven! Our girls were born in May 2015. We've just celebrated their first birthday. We used Ukrainian clinic BioTexCom. We are happy parents now! I have no regrets. As soon as I knew I'm pregnant all doubts were wiped out. We decided not to tell our daughters we used donor eggs. I think children' mind is not ready for such info. This fact will change nothing for them. The most important is to give them love and care. I consider myself as their only mother. This is everything they need to know.
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