Breaking Through

I finally got someone at my GYNs office to find out about the blood work I had done. Contrary to what I had been told they did 4 tests:

 

Free T4-Throxine (normal range .8 - 1.8) mine was 1.0

TSH (normal range .35 - 5.5, range as of 2003 is .3 - 3.0) mine was 2.91

Prolactin-pituitary function (normal range 2.8 - 29.2) mine was 14.2

Hemoglobin (normal range for women above 12) mine was 11.8

 

I also made three formal written complaints, one with the HMO, one with the physicians group, and one with the advise nursing supervisor. We are leaving this plan as soon as possible.

 

Today I just feel like crap. No energy, headache, and cold. I am going to go home and crawl into my bed until I am forced to get out. But on the up-side, I am starting to spot the patterns with this problem and I am working with it. I know when I am just spent and I don't push myself. I know when I feel irritable and I just get quiet or do a solitary activity. I know I am walking a physical and emotional tight rope. I can deal with it.

 

I should be getting my prescription for progesterone tomorrow or the next day and we will hope that it works. It's not 100% effective, but I can't wait to try it.

 

I've spent the last month dealing with the whole embryo donation disaster. I have let it go. I no longer thing of the donors or their children as part of my solution. After the first few weeks it got a lot easier. Maybe I am just getting better at disappointment...maybe I'm an expert now (wink).

 

Last week my RE's office contacted me. They know that we are not financially able to do another donor cycle...not even a shared cycle, but they were so excited about a ovum donor they have in their program, they just HAD to let me know. She is 26. She has been through 4 cycles. Every cycle has produced a positive pregnancy. One of those cycles was a shared cycle, so 5 women have gotten pregnant from her donations. There is another couple that has had the same kind of luck we have (pause, sigh) and they are suggesting that this ovum donor might be a good fit for us to do a shared cycle with them. She produces a lot of eggs every time.

 

I can't tell you how fast I felt back on that DE IVF roller coaster. Like I had never done it before. Like I had never experienced the devastation from the zero betas. Like I was full of that horrible baby dust. So I contacted them and asked when they needed to know. The donor is not available until July so we don't have to decide today, thank goodness. I just can't today. I have to get my energy back, my body back, my life back in order.